Snowflake
by komiket
Summary: drabble prompt - snowflake. A quiet moment sometime shortly after the end of the war. Written with post-control in mind, but could also be seen as post-synthesis. The "blue" version of "Winter"


They'd been outside all day, and it still had yet to snow. The sun was going to set soon, and Joker said it was time they head back to the ship, much to EDI's chagrin. They stopped to sit on a low wall for a few minutes, to let Joker catch his breath and for EDI to watch the sun set. The air turned colder suddenly, and the next time you knew, snowflakes started falling, just a few, barely enough for the human eye to pick up. But EDI noticed. She was so delighted, holding her palms out, moving around to try to catch them. The snow started to pick up, and it quickly coated her hair, accumulating on the strands. Joker tried to teach her how to stick her tongue out to catch a snowflake, but she wouldn't stop smiling while she did it so she looked absolutely ridiculous. He watched her, wearing a hoodie of his she decided was now hers, going around in circles with her head thrown back like a kid, and he busted up laughing.

EDI was beaming from ear to ear, so excited at achieving her goal of experiencing snow first hand. She came to sit back down next to him, overclocking a few settings to try to generate heat. He put his arm around her and they sat in thought for a moment, watching the snow, getting blanketed by it.

"You know, it's kinda crazy that we're even here, that we're even doing this." he said.

"That is too broad of an observation. Please specify."

"I dunno, thinkin' 'bout too much stuff at once, I guess. But I'm happy, I mean…I'm…dammit. I guess I'm thinking that, at least if every crazy thing I've been through in life happened just so it would lead up to this exact moment, then…it's alright."

That was an immense thought for EDI to process. Best not to shatter it by responding incorrectly. It felt right to ask, but she didn't know how to phrase it. "Are you still in grief?"

"About the war or…oh, I get you. Yeah, I…wish I'd asked you to come with me. To Tiptree. I didn't realize how much I needed you 'til I left. Got so used to you always being right there, I forgot how much life sucked before you." he said with a teasing tone.

EDI smiled, and said what she wanted to before. "I should probably not say this, but I am happy to hear that. I, too, found myself to be operating at less efficiency with your absence, which was…upsetting. A pity that I did not dispose of you before I became attached…"

Joker snorted. "Your sense of humor is gettin' worse and worse by the day!"

"It is only your perception that is diminishing. I am an expert at my craft and your mind must simply be lagging from the cold too much to perceive correctly," she mused in a lofty voice. "We should return to the ship." As EDI started to sit up, she sent the command to her hair to align itself back into a helmet. It backfired (literally) due to the fact that her hair was wet from the melted snow. It made a sharp popping noise, then a fizzling sound, the water rising up as steam and smoke from what must've been a small short circuit.

"I…I broke it," EDI moaned. She looked incredibly embarrassed. Joker couldn't help but double over with laughter.

"Aww, I'm sure your magic robot hair will be fine! You said it doesn't work if it's wet. You should put your hood up next time."

EDI just looked at him. She didn't seem to understand what he meant.

"Like…like this," he reached over and pulled the hood up over her head, and tried to arrange the sides away from her face. EDI still simply stared at him, blinking slowly, reaching her hand up to the top of her head, to feel the fabric.

"Thank you, Jeff." she said softly.

She felt overwhelmed with positive data. Jeff was always thorough and sure with his movements, the way he conducted himself, the way he piloted, and he had always treated her the same way. There was a special modification to his set of actions regarding her specifically, and that was gentleness. To be treated by one as if you are not only a person, but one that is to be treasured, was overwhelming for EDI. She had some friendships, but no one else made her feel that important. No one else tried like Joker did. The perspective offered by this situation, to truly feel and understand the significance of another treating you with such caring attention, opened hundreds of thousands of new pathways in her understanding of social conduct, of scenarios regarding her view of herself, of what he meant to her and why he meant so much.

This had been building for some time and she was unable to ignore it any longer. She knew what she felt - there is no single other topic humans write more about so it had been simple to research, to diagnose.

"I love you," she stated, clearly, assuredly, smoothly. His eyes softened, but he seemed to be unable to respond.

"Me too." he croaked, so hoarsely EDI had to run it through one of the programs she used to decode human speech.

She lifted the sides of her mouth slightly. Not really a smile. "I am glad to hear that. Much of your behavior exhibits symptoms of self-hatred. It is reassuring to hear you do not feel such a way about yourself."

"No, that's not…dammit. I didn't," he looked away, swallowing nervously. EDI looked away as well. She wasn't sure what just happened but she knew she failed. She should never have confessed so early into a relationship - every source of advice advised against that - and especially an emotion most organics would have little to no ability to believe she felt authentically.

She was about to cease the continuation of allotted processing power to scenarios related to this social blunder, when she felt Joker's hand on the side of her face. He turned her face toward him, and leaned in to kiss her. It was deep right from the start, desperate, and intensely emotive. They had kissed before - many times - and while she always found great joy in how passionate he was, she could sense a new expression behind it. It was that same gentleness she longed for so much. This knowledge overpowered her concentration on all the other processes she was running, and she sank into him, deepening the kiss, losing herself in the sensation.

He disengaged, puling back and panting slightly as he opened his eyes. Her stared straight into her, and she recognized his expression, the one that said, 'I hope you understand.' And she did. From all the hours she spent analyzing his face since she met him, trying to decode him, trying to comprehend some order in the chaos of his atypical behaviors, she had only seen this face a few times, when words escaped him and he was nothing but pure emotion.

She did understand, and as she leaned in to kiss him again, her hands on his back, bodies flush, she was thankful for the link that somehow helped them transcended the boundaries of being not only separate people, but different lifeforms. The way they fit together, meshed together, in body, mind, and soul, was the single most profound construct in her life.

And so they stayed there, in the falling snow, a warm center in the cold, nothing more than two people in love in the vast universe of possibilities and the emptiness of space, the shining light that lead the other out of the darkness, that guarded them from ever returning to it. They loved each other, and in a world where neither of them belonged, when they were both together, they were complete. Everything was perfectly complete.


End file.
